The was around,
as it was bound to the outside town
Listen closely
in the distance a pounding sound
can be heard
The sky roared
its lions cry
thunder making it’s know
as the baking light
Shines out its
stability to the unknownColorful light
can be seen
To white
to copper
As the ground turns
slushily and mushy
The lion
in the skycries out
for its love
Above the heavens
to show its loyaltylion has for its love
Makes light
in the skywhen the high clouds
above cries for the loss
I had to read this several times to realize that it was about a thunderstorm. I got caught up in the language and the comparisons to lions - and that's not a bad thing at all, trust me.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you kept coming back to the metaphor about the lions but I was a little confused about what exactly was going on
ReplyDeleteI think its about thunder and lightning
ReplyDeleteI like how you discribed the lightning and thunder
I dont get the ending but it is good.
Very good poem.
Rand Hillyer
I liked the sudden tone shift in the final stanza. Left me feeling a bit...I'm not sure but it was good,OK?
ReplyDeleteObvoiusly a very deep poem about a thunderstorm, with alot of great personifacation and using metaphors comapring thunder and lightning. - Haiden Sloan
ReplyDelete